One gram of practice is worth more than 1000 of theory... Here are the notes for basic workshop what i'm teaching. I hope they would be helpful. Anyway best is to attend the workshop with exercises and possibility of asking questions.Workshops/lectures/meetings are every Mondays evenings at Valreep Polderweg 120 Amsterdam or whatever else i would be invited.
1.What is tantra ?
Tantra have so many definitions probably as many people are connected to it. There are few things what is difficult to explain and what You have to experience yourself. Tantra is one of them. For me tantra is connecting our sexuality with our spirituality, our body with our soul. It's balancing our female and male energy. It is using secret act of making love not only for our pleasure but also for getting us higher, energetic more conscious, more aware and even more unlighted. It's strengthening everything what we do in our life. By bringing our conscious to higher levels is making us more aware and active with the things what are important to humanity and/or to save the planet etc. It's making our love more sacred, more pleasurable and more fulfilling. Tantric love is transforming sexual act from short one, ended with quick ejaculation, dissatisfaction and loose of energy in to long one, what is giving us energy and is like waves of ecstasy ended up when we like it to happen. Tantra is expanding intimacy from bed to our daily life, and love from ourselves, to our partner,then to family … and to whole universe. Tantra is everything and much more what I would teach You today.
2. Love is the biggest power
Love is the biggest power. There are so many crisis's and problems nowadays than never before. That's why it is important to learn love in every way possible .Not without reasons available over centuries only for the elites secrets now are relieved to everyone. Don't miss this chance.
Even love is most important in life of most of us, there are not so many real knowledge about it. The painful paradox is that doesn't have place in school education. We can talk about big luck when we learn at least some love from our parents. To fill up this gap we wrote these words, we read them, and we giving this workshop.
3. Loss of semen means loosing energy
To start one of the basic things that we have to learn is to avoid ejaculation. During ejaculation, man loses so much energy that after he is usually only able to turn his back and sink into a deep sleep. Loosing so much creative energy if it happen more often than ones a two weeks lead to many health problems, quick frustration, quick temper lack of energy just no name the few. Average less than 10 minutes foreplay and less thanb 7-minute interaction leaves woman disappointed - She needs a lot more time to be excited, and even more to achieve orgasm.PERSPECTIVES OF TANTRIC SEX
This situation discourages woman from making love, makes her feel used and is leading to frustration in the relationship and in our lives.
4. Fore play
Therefore, before we learn to slow down or even stop the ejaculation, you should realise how important is foreplay. It's making possible to increase time of making love what give for women more satisfaction what is very important. So let Your woman decide when interaction should start. Man ( but woman either ) could find out in that way that's whole body, thankful of exchange of energy is able to ecstasy and for example tong could receive and give so much pleasure to the licking and licked person what You would never expect. For play its also a great time to get to know our erogenous maps. Mouth, breast, genitals, anus that's commonly known areas of sexual pleasure, but everyone is different and in each of us have hidden great mysteries what we will have to explore.
5 Intimacy not just in bed
Intimacy and love should not be confined just to our bedroom. Making love is not only penetration but also kind words, hugging, nice looks what we should give to our partners in all possible moments in any possible ways. Very nice habit is to cuttle together every time when we see each other. Another one: before we falling to sleep its nice to cuttle each other in the spoon position (on the side one behind another) and by sharing breathing synchronise our energies. Giving love could be also very nice by doing things together like dancing, practising partner yoga,Qi gong, having romantic dinner, taking some course together, reading to each other, doing actions etc. Especially yoga, Tao chi and Qi gong are very handy to complete tantric practise because they're dealing with flow of energy what is very important.
Ecstasy shouldn't be excluded to stay between the bedrooms walls but should be spread in all areas of our lives. Especially mans have habit to be nice mainly only when they like to make love. This is very annoying and disappointing to women. After that they very often feel used and see partners love as only way to get something...
6.Male and female energy
Very often our sexual life could improve when we just will give up leading role to the woman's. They are able to lead lovemaking in much better way that would make her more content. ...and which man would not like to satisfy his beloved ? Unfortunately not everyone is able to let themselves to switch those roles. From centuries female sex is suppressed by male sex. Because man's are ruling the world we have so much wars, climate change, hunger and other problems on the world. In the societies and tribes where woman's are leading wars are not happening so often because what kind of mother would send her son to die for any homeland? Care its a woman value so its obvious that in the matriarchal societies people are before profits. Relationship would be much more happy if we would let women decide about more things.
Of course i'm generalising here because sometimes may happens women's with male character and as well man's who prefer spend time in the kitchen or with children. This is because we all have in ourselves feminine and masculine energies, Yin and Yang, moon end sun etc. From the balance of those two polarities depends our happiness. Unfortunately,imposed on us in childhood educational standards making a men too masculine,and women too feminine.To balance this we should more often let the man to be a woman and vice versa - the woman be a man. For instance:Through the care of children man can develop his suppressed emotionality. By letting woman to be on the top during making love ( what through centuries was prohibited ) a woman can regain her leading values. This tantric change is a good step in the struggle for rights and women's liberation. From changing ourselves we begin steps towards a better society. Therefore, we must destroy these stereotypes imposed in to us. We should let the man be emotional and sensitive. Through constant suppression of his tears he can breed a terrible disease. The same may happen to woman if they're never able to relieve her anger, etc. Let's not suppress our feelings. Let us be ourselves. Let's do it for ourselves.
Loving ourselves is foundation of proper love. Only when we love ourselves, we can truly love others.
When we feel good about our self we will also have the self esteem needed to act in love towards another being. Proper love to ourselves would expand to proper love to our partners, family, animals, nature, whole planet en universe.
From our birth, everyone is requiring from us that we would become someone and we would achieve something. From girls everyone expect to look nice, and to be exemplary mothers and wives.
In the same time boys and later men are less judged by how they look, but more by what they have and how highly they rank in the society.
The pressure is so high that most people will constantly feel undervalued.
Thousands of billboards, advertisements are stereotyping women's that they should look like models and barbie dolls. "Never full filled unnatural ideals " getting majority of woman's in to insecurity to such an extend that they're not only fall into anorexia, getting stuffed in a chemistry to lose weight or they're suffering on the high heels etc. but above all, they stopping loving themselves.
Everyone is beautiful in its own way. The real tastes of men who are not indoctrinated by stereotypes differ from each other. Therefore, if you do not want some primitive indoctrinated guy love yourself as you are.
Ask Yourself what for You would like to be loved for? Question to woman: for that how You look like or who You are?
Question to man: For that what car do You have, how many material things did You collected or which position in the society You have or for what who You are deeply in the heart?
What kind of love it is when You always have to suspect Your beloved that she may live You when You will loos your money? What kind of love it is if You always have to suspect that when You will become older your partner would not love You any more? But to achieve that someone would truly love You, first You have to love Yourself.
To achieve this, stand in the mirror every morning (or as often as you can) and enjoy Your unique beauty, stroke and caress every part of Yourselves. Watch and love every corner and part of Your body. Be thankful for their functions.
The fact that masturbation is immoral or not ethical is another myth that should be overthrown on the way to our liberation
Masturbation is not a sin, and if you do not end up with losing the semen it may be a good exercise for singles, to learn how to work with energies breath or how to hold back the ejaculation.
It is important to know sexual anatomy of our body. There are more than one orgasmic point than clitoris in the woman's body, so there more types of orgasm to explore, to mix and to play with.
G point is the most known. Its in front of vagina more less 7 cm depth - depends from the woman. From it depth depend the position in which could be stimulated in the best way. In touch feels like a button,sponch or a walnut. In this point very often are stored a lot of painful memories what very often are released during the orgasm. That's why when they experiencing it one of the first times, women may get suddenly angry, scared, sad and they suddenly begin to shout or cry etc. Don't be discouraged by this. It is revealing healing process what You have to go through. It is getting rid off from Your memories all bad things what happened in the past mainly to Your sexuality. In mans the G point is achievable mainly through entering the anus or slightly by massaging the perineum between testicles and anus.
U point – just below the urinary hole, about 3 cm below the clitoris. Mostly before to feel this point woman have to be already aroused. Stimulated together with point G could give so much pleasure that can lead woman to ejaculation
M Point – from the sound of mmmmm... what woman would make when is stimulated. At the bottom of vagina. Sensitive mainly only after at least one of orgasm.
There is more and less sensitive points and areas like lips, anus, perineum, breast, head, ears etc. They are varying in each woman (man) Some of them have to be stimulated more often or together or after of stimulating some other areas. By mixing stimulation of all of them we can invent our own way of ecstasy. ... Everyone is different so explore Yourself, explore Your partner. Use long time of fore play and after play
People have few senses not without the reasons. Learn how to use them during love making and how to be focus on them.
Welcoming other certain methods in our lives may help us to expand ecstasy of our love and elevate it to higher levels, and thus in the end getting even more power to even greater love.
One of the main reason is to not go over so-called point of no return - what means moment after which ejaculation is no longer possible to contain.
Basic methods that's mainly clinching PC muscle, deep breathing, energy transfer up and down through whole body or/and pressing specific points.
PC muscles, (sometimes cold "muscles of love" or "muscles of sex" ) are the muscles which prevents the flow of urine. By tightening these muscles we not only narrowed the possibility of sperm ejaculation but also we send the sexual energy up. If we would have to choose what is most important in the woman's life to give her power, we could think about training the PC muscle. Its not only make circulation better in the pelvic area but also giving You possibility to achieve more orgasms and getting them when you like them to happen. When woman is using it it is very pleasurable for her partner during love making
For the energy flow it is very helpful to breathe deeply. Generally, if you breathe deeper you will become healthier, calmer, and more alive.
With every breath in we provide the oxygen - the energy of life. With each exhalation we are getting rid of the toxins. The deeper is breath in, the more energy we receiving. The more we breath out - the more we purify our body.
When we observe our breathing during sex, we can notice that is getting more shallow and faster as closer is to orgasm. Just as we can through deep breathing calm our fear,pain or anger, in the same way we can slow down and avoid ejaculation.
13. Synchronising and moving energy up and down
In addition, breathing synchronised with tightening PC muscle is very helpful in building up energy. Before we learn to feel energy we have to imagine it. By sending our energy around our body adding to the methods above it make even greater effect. If we synchronise those methods together with our partners we can get really high. In general by loving ourselves in relationship we not just adding our energy. Multiplying is is also said not enough... But Love we have to learn and cultivate....
To improve energy flow is also handy to press hardly our tongue in to the top of our mouth, just behind our teeth's. It helps especially when we are feeling that we're coming close to the point of no return.
Men can also stop ejaculation more mechanically. Between testicles and the anus under muscle perineum You can feel hole between the bones. By firmly pressing the hole we stop sperm to get out. During making love we may ask beloved to press this point to prevent it but before we have to let her know how and when. This is a good way to start on halting the loss of semen but because its not shutting up the energy its create it's access in the genital organs so rather is advised as emergency stop than a routine. However, in order to "ascend to heaven, we must learn to fly." So on the longer therm is better to use other methods mentioned above.
Through the transfer of energy up or to the sick body parts we can help them recover.There is probably no more effective and more pleasurable method of treatment than love.
As someone once said, "Sex can be your way to hell or to heaven" - you choose.
In the same way sex can give you energy, health and youth when it is filled with love and when you learn how to use its energy. Similarly, by the frequent loss of semen we deprive ourselves of energy, we weaken our body, and we even speeding up the processes of disease and ageing.
As tantra is focused on spirituality and ecstasy, sexual tao is more focused on health.
16. Open communication
Very important in this regard is to be open, to not be afraid to communicate how we want to be touched, kissed and loved. If it will be easy for us to describe our expectations we will avoid misunderstandings, hurts and we will gain greater satisfaction, respect and understanding. The only restrictions in making love should be free will of both partners. Sexual fantasies and expectations are different as people are different and if both sides agree on anything, no taboos, no religion, social pressures, etc. should interfere in it. So do not wait for that our partner would guess our desires or would learn telepathy. By expressing ourselves we are encouraging our partners to do the same. Most of us like that their beloved are open and communicative.
If you want to achieve satisfaction You must be open in expressing our dreams ... but also what hurts us, what we enjoy, where and how we like to be touched, kissed, licked and loved. Unfortunately, talking about making love is another taboo that must be overcomed on the way to our liberation.
There is a lot of helpful exercises to help you learn to express our own opinions and to get rid of the fear of our own openness.This will help improve communication in our bed, and later throughout also in our lives. As far as communication also very important is to learn how to not hurt each other.
While making love, we are not only dress out of our clothes - even our soul is laid bare.In that moments of intimacy is very easy to get hurt by any unpleasant remark.
Ones we got hurt by severe criticism it can make us close back and in the future we would be even more afraid to re-open. This is not to avoid to voice our opinions but to learn how to form them as constructive criticism in that way that our beloved wouldn't be wounded.
For example, note the difference between: "Why we're always hurrying I'm not ready yet" from: "Your touch is so pleasant here, could You continue a little bit longer?"
Treat Your woman as goddess and Your man as god
The world would be better if instead of the motherland at the school we would learn to love our neighbours, and people would see the gods in other people - especially in our beloved ones. Treat them like godesses, gods, not only in our bed but in whole our live.
Deep breath, scream,laugh, and touch can help the energy flow, and in the same time as well could be very exciting expression of our happiness, ecstasy, etc...
There is nothing wrong with love but only in its absence, and in the attempts to restrict that .So do not be ashamed by shouting while You making love, don't be afraid that Your neighbours would hear You. As long as they do not wake up because of that, there is nothing wrong - they're also doing it.
17. Present Moment
It is very important that we have learnt to be present at the moment with all our mind. Love is so beautiful, and even more beautiful if we would commit ourselves to it. Do not waste those beautiful moments of thinking about anything else. It is therefore important that we have our mind as clearest as possible. If some news are not useful for us they're only pollute our head like unnecessary things thrash our room. Then those thoughts like demons attack us in the most unexpected moment for example during lovemaking. Because of this we are not in 100% present and we are not able to give or receive love at the highest level. Knowledge if it is not used is just another way of over consumption, so its better that we skip the daily news about the next tragedies and catastrophes in which we can not and would not help (if we can/would help the knowledge might be handy). Less news is less chaos in our heads.
Similarly, the cleaner is our conscience, the more love we can experience. Our so-called. "Sins" (those against our own principles of ethics), are affecting us even more than unwanted messages. Especially if they relate to our beloved. We will not be able to look honestly and deeply into eyes of our beloved if we betrayed her.
By this our love may never be able to spread its wings completely. Therefore, is better do more good things, and less bad things. And here we are closing the circle that happy life You get by doing good.
This workshop is only an introduction, to encourage You to get more knowledge and practise of love. I hope that this will encourage to read about tantra, sexual tao. Maybe You will even find courses that will respond to you. As each discipline the art of love needs patience, practise time and devote. Don't get disappointed when it doesn't always works or takes time. Realise the painful emotions that can be released on the way of tantric love). Relax, You're on good way leaving behind those who are afraid to make mistakes...
It is worth to put Your time and energy in it, because it is love that's most important thing for many of us.However, even small hints like "to first blow, then tickle, then lightly kiss, and then touch and lick at the end" can be very revealing, and certainly our beloved ones will love it. Its good to varying every love making session. Don't let things rapid itself to often. Therefore, lets use our imagination, which in itself may prove to be a treasury of ideas, if only we learn, we dare to use it.
Good luck and lot of pleasure, energy and love!
Twenty-first century. Time of great change but also the risks and concerns.
Can we survive? Would humanity will cope with the mess that has created mainly during the last century? How far, how long, what disasters we have to experience that people would make the breakthrough of their mentality? There is still hope that if we act united in all possible ways, we can avoid destruction of our planet, extermination of generations to come, global warming, water contamination, deforestation or other consequences of our "civilised" life.
There is a power that gives the strength to the hope, gives faith that everything will be fine. This power that's love, what especially now we have to distribute in any possible way and as much as we can. Of course, we should start with ourselves, our beloved, then our children, first close and then further family, then all human beings, animals, plants and entire planet. If we start to love properly, it will not be limited just to ourselves, or eventually only to our family. Developed love does not stop just at feelings for our partners, but on understanding that if we would like to be happy we have to live altruistically. So do good to other people, animals, plants and entire planet. Everything in the universe is interconnected. Our health is increasingly dependent on the health of our planet. We can imagine that we letting in negative energy in to our body by eating every piece of meat, what had to be paid not only by animal suffering but also by the world hunger, climate change, deforestation, poisoning soil,water etc.
We wouldn't buy for a child happiness by purchasing cheap Chinese toys, produced by other children from who's childhood was taken away.
Giving for beloved heart-shaped chocolates will not pass energy of love if You was aware that to produce it, children were abused at the cocoa plantation.
If we understand good in almost all religions and all philosophical systems they're teaching us love. Why, nevertheless, it is still too little of that feeling to save the planet? Why so often still it is just selfish feeling limited only to ourselves ? Why religions that suppose to spread love to often causes bloody wars? We could probably write a book about it but here is not time and place for that. I would go straight to the heart of the problem and the solution. To make our love mature and altruistic I'm encouraging you to familiarise yourself with positive tantra, sexual tao, tantric love which by the fact that would ascend us to higher levels of consciousness will give us healthy, happy life for ourselves and our loved ones, and eventually will open our hearts and eyes to the needs of our times. Regardless of religion, philosophical system,will bring a feeling and power of love in everything what we do.
So why wait ? Start today. Save yourself and the rest. Give happiness to yourself and others !
Happy life You get by doing good !
Invite me wor lecture, workshop, presentation
Spread the word!
Don't hasitate to ask/contact