 | Advaita has been practicing tantra and therapy since 1982 and working with the tarot for 30 years. Her work is wild, ecstatic, energetic and radical in its approach, loving, gentle, tender and understanding in its care, as well as liberating, sensual, bracing and full of power in its effectiveness. Working with the integration of sexual traumas she is as compassionate and cautious as you would expect from someone who herself was affected by this issue, but this doesn't lessen her fight to bring the issues out into the open. She was initiated and taught by the Masters Guru Maharaji, Osho, Barry Long, and Punjaji. |
Raport from Rasayana Open Master-class by By Advaita on Tantric Awakening & Reichian Bio-energetics -
writen By Michal Marek Griks
For me weekend with Advaita was kind of completing the healing process of my inner child. Like with all healing it´s never ending process, what happened also this time when it was continuing also after, when another intensive week passed by in my life.
How also
Advaita said ¨ Maybe you will never be able to heal your traumas till very end but at least you would be able more and more leave with them and you would be not affected by them any more ( or at least much less ).
We started with the introduction, where we had to say our names, experiences with tantra and how do we feel in that moment, where we are in our process of healing. Already she was pretty straight forward if not to say rough with saying her opinion to this what she heard. She asked confronting questions to go deep in to peoples personal stories and without mercy getting them out from excuses to our oppressors, abusers or people, who just not enough loved us. When I said that my trauma what I'm healing now is that I´m not feeling to being loved enough, then when I said that maybe they had good intentions but... - she
cut me in half words, almost shouting at me
¨- Don´t ever try to excuse them. They did something wrong to you. Face it. Don´t try to escape from it. Never try to take responsibility from the person but see their faults like black on white. When the process would require that you would have to tell them how did you felt, maybe you will have to do it. ¨
What I also noticed, she was couching people, when they´re by being nervous for example they were doing some movements.
Advaita asked them to stop immediately because this is the way how body is trying to escape from painful memories. She told us to be aware about those movements and do not let them ease the situation as they did when traumatising event was happening on real. With one of the student she almost forbid him to smile and laugh when he got nervous because this was probably his learnt protection response to rigidity of his demanding mother. When I said that I feel not loved enough and that´s my biggest issue, she said that's not the worse.
Saturday we started with Mandala
Osho dynamic meditation in Advaita´s version. The difference was that one background music was changed and position of the first exercise also. ¨Biking¨ instead of doing it in the standing position, it was done while we lied on the mats.
Advaita first showed us all positions and then we started 4 stages dynamic mediation.
First ¨biking¨, second ¨hole bamboo¨, third ¨rolling eyes¨, fourth ¨relaxing¨
Biking was the heaviest. She encouraged us to stay till
the end of whole 15 minutes. Of
course she explained to not over force our bodies but to try our best beyond our pain, lazy thoughts, anger and other emotions. After a while as more I was getting tired, as more emotions were coming out. First laughing from the ¨absurdity of the situation¨, then the anger came as well. Openness and loudness of the group was even more encouraging us to shout it out, cry it out or express it out in any possible way. I was very happy when that part was over. I think ¨my bike get broken ¨ because it was very heavy to pedal at the end.
Second we did the hole bamboo. We had to seat in
meditation pose, imagine our spine as hole bamboo stick bending on the wind. It may happen that after biking our spine will do subtle circular movements. Let it be. If it didn´t happen
Advaita asked us to initiate them. In me the energy in the spine was strongly shaking,
trembling in the lower areas, sending energy up and down.
Third. While we kept sitting ( another difference - in
original Osho meditation - this you do while you lay down ) we had to roll our eyeballs clockwise. Without focus, without moving our heads, we had to look as further as possible in all directions. We had to do it as fast as possible and never stop. Stopping meant that to much mind got in.
Fourth stage was relaxation with awareness. Without falling to sleep we had to lie down in
Savasana, the yoga corps pose on our back. Then we had to observe everything what was happening to us. Energy, feelings, breath, sensations ... everything
The whole meditation for me was a huge challenge. Could be that one of the heaviest physical exertion what I ever did. Reflection came that we have to be very desperate to heal our wounds if we agree for such extreme. After this dynamic meditation I felt already that this weekend would be very challenging not only physically but emotionally as well. Already I felt intense energy in my spine and I knew that I´m going deeper in to my self.
After the break we started Bio Energetics in Advaita´s way. She called that combination Advaita tantra. She is mixing Bio Energetics with Ayanga yoga and tantra to get the best effects of the healing process. In first day we did it with couples. One person was active the other passive and then we changed the roles. Usually active person was doing the stretch and passive was supporting by pulling, pushing etc. and then in relaxing stage by being as pillow, and by sending energy through his/her pulses to heart and navel chakras.
1. We did by standing. Active person had to stand on slightly bended knees, with pelvis pushed forward, chest open, head straight, eyes looking up. Fists on sacrum pushing forward , what made shoulders even more rolled back. Passive person with one palm on fists and the other on heart suppose push in to opposite direction, bending back even more. In relaxing stage passive is standing behind and let the active rely on and relax with the support.
2 We sit in front of each other with legs wide a part. Passive person is pushing the ankles of the active person to their limits. On the relaxation like in every followed exercise: Passive person is letting rest active head on his/her leg and with one hand on heart and the other on navel chakra he/she is sending there energy.
3. Butterfly. Active is bringing the heals to the groin, as close as possible, gently pushing knees to the floor, trying to bend forward - ideally that you could put your head, your elbows and palms on the floor in to the prying pose. Passive is sitting behind with bended knees, legs open and having between them the active person. This closeness is giving to active person warmth, relaxation and comfort, what make him/ her able to go deeper in to the stretch. Passive with whole body weight, gently is pushing active person. Relaxing as in earlier exercise.
4th Active person is sitting with knees bended, buttocks between the heals. Passive person sitting behind with knees touching the sacrum of the active. Then active is bending back together with passive, who is supporting and letting active to lay on her/him. When active is laying on passive, passive is gently ¨walking¨ back with the knees massaging back of the active and letting her/him to stretch backward to the floor. Relaxation like in exercise nr. 2
5th Bending forward. Passive is doing the same what in 3rd exercise. Active is having the legs in front and straight in the knees. First he/she is pulled by hands on the neck of passive person. Then Active is pushed by passive forward. Active is trying to reach the toes. Relaxation like in nr 2.
After this Bio Energetics my spine was more energised and it seemed that even more I was going deeper inside myself in to emotional healing.
After break we had very interesting discussion about healing, therapies, tantra, abusers, victims, porn industry, society, childhood, parenting, future generations, solutions etc.etc. Like during whole weekend Advaita was emotional, what made me crying as well. I feel that when teachers are open to be emotional and authentic themselves, this is encouraging students to do the same. After this heavy discussion we had relaxing naked dance. It brought great feeling of sacred sexuality, when we felt comfort, safety, and little bit more healed and liberated from conditioning. That was good end of the day.
Sunday we started again with mandala meditation and again lot of pain emotion was going out. Even more heavy than day before.
After break we did Advaita Tantra this time not in the couples but by our own. The exercises were the same only variations were for one person. there wasn´t so many breaks between because this time we didn´t had to switch the roles. This brought us even stronger in to the process. First and second exercise we repeated twice. In the third time everyone was getting fully emotional. I, like most of others, I was crying out all my memories and pains of not being loved enough. It went even deeper that to the things what I could remember earlier. Advaita in very intelligent way , she was pulling out all those emotions by saying for example: ¨ Go deep in to it ! Remember the fear, the ugliness of the situation. Nobody was there to protect you. Where were all your friends. Again nobody when you need them... etc.
Afterwards we were exhausted not only physically but also emotionally. This was one of the most heavy workshop, what I ever attended. Maybe even most healing. For me there wasn´t so much sexuality, intimacy and love, what in my opinion could make those healing even more powerful but that is maybe more my and not Advaita´s strategy. Day after I decided spontaneously to fast to get even more out of that healing. In some point I got very weak. I was only able to get some mats and blankets outside of my caravan. My senses were so sensitive that it was to warm to stay inside. I felt that in this sudden total weakness, again was nobody to help me. I was again alone. Feeling of being not loved enough, having no one who would take care for me. Even phone card probably not without reason was finished just at that moment. Awareness of taking care for my inner child was growing stronger in this process of path to unconditional love. Day after I wrote text on Rasayana Tantra Academy students FB page: Quote :
Yes. It happened again. My inner child got hurt. But this time with total awareness: to recognise, to see, to go deep, to feel, where is the root of that inner pain. To understand so much. To feel. To know the truth. To not to wonder any more: ¨why life is like it is ?¨ etc.
When we know the truth, we know what we are standing on. We know what to do, how to act upon that. Sometimes going out of illusion could be very painful. Don´t worry: Time would heal the wounds. Now with the inner dialogue possible, we will found solutions. So what that we got older during this few days. So what that nostalgia is still here. With awareness, connection and new wisdom soon we would grow in ecstasy, love and freedom.
Blue pill, red pill. Illusion, awareness. We have choice. Or we don´t. I choose for Love - this unconditional - and to achieve unconditional Love we have to uncondition our self even from love
What do you think, feel about all of that ?
PS: Thanks to all of you for being on my journey <3
Then in the same evening I got this one what i wrote under ¨ Right on time to get out from my moods and get ready :) Thanks - it make me feel better and stronger <3¨
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