Use it! Don`t lose it!
This is one of the most important tantric practice into tantric sexuality. First, I would describe the differences between typical sex and tantric love making. In mainstream sex, mainly only the man is reaching peak orgasm and then, whatever we like or not, sexual act ends because big loss of energy. In tantric love making, we may make love for hours and we are the one who are deciding "wow… for now is enough". Because of that, we are satisfied and also energized as well. That`s in very short.
Let`s go step by step more into the details: in typical sex man is so keen to start the penetration, that for him foreplay doesn`t have to exist. They can start straight away, but they maybe read from some sexual books or maybe they heard from their woman that the female need much more time to get ready. So, they do bit of the foreplay, in average less than 10 minutes, what is still too less for the woman and her yoni to be ready. This leads to dissatisfaction, frustration, numbness and physical pain in yoni, sexual trauma etc.
After this too short foreplay the penetration begins and in average last less than 6-7 minutes, what again is too less for the woman. Man, reaches so cold "point of no return", the moment after he cannot stop his ejaculation anymore and so called "peak orgasm", (for man specifically ejaculatory orgasm) is happening. The man through ejaculation is losing so much energy and then "what happens next?" - I always ask my students and they usually know the answer: "he goes to sleep". He is so tired that usually he says: "Darling I love you but now I have to go to sleep", he turns his back, and before she answers he is already snoring. I don`t need to add that this leaves the woman in very unsatisfied situation. It`s a bit like the electricity went off, while you were enjoying the best, exciting scene in action movie. When the woman is so lucky that she may achieve peak orgasm (the clitoral orgasm), she doesn`t lose so much energy like a man but usually enough that she loses her interest in continuing. This loss disable her from achieving higher orgasms what are very healing, liberating, energizing. That`s why this basic way of tantric love what I guide you here, have to be applied not only by the men but by the women as well.
In tantric love making, we let the woman decide when she would like to begin penetration. This have some reasons but main of them are: first that at least she will also have some pleasure, and second that her yoni would be ready for penetration, what may bring healing experience in place of traumatizing one.
When penetration begins, excitement rises up quickly and before we reach point of no return, we use, in the same time, three connected with each other methods:1. Tiding PC muscle
Notice that you use them all together (similar technique in sexual Tao is called "Cosmic orbit")
AD 1: PC muscles- more about it you may read in practical leaflet further in the book, so I would keep it shortly. The easiest explanation is [quote of our leaflet]
"…PC muscle: Training PC muscle is one of the most simple but also most efficient and beneficial technique that people can get from tantra. There are many health, physical,mental and sexual benefits of training that muscles. Next time when you go to toilet, on every breath in,stop urinating. Recognize clearly which muscles you use. That´s PC muscle. When you know them, squeeze them and relax them 30 times,3 times per day. Keep on practice. As you will notice training PC muscle is not visible for others and doesn´t take your attention, so it's perfect to do it in all possible situations (I´m doing it even while I´m writing this text :)I bet with everyone that after 1 month training, you would be thankful for that information...and I haven't lost yet:)"
With tiding PC muscle you shoot the energy up.
AD 2: With breath inhalation you suck the energy up. Also, notice that you may slow down your excitement and gain control when you slow down the breath.
AD 3: Visualization. It`s very truth what they say, energy goes where attention goes. That`s why, we help the flow with our visualization. You may visualize energy as you like: green light ball, flame, snake, stream of light, ray etc.
Together AD: 1+2+3
First you breath in with tiding PC muscle and with visualizing the energy going from your genitals through the back of the spine to the level of the heart (at the beginning of your practice), then second with breath out, you relax PC muscle and you visualize the energy going down from your heart back to your genitals. You repeat this circle 5-7 times, up till you feel that too much energy in your genitals, what was ready to explode through peak orgasm, is brought to the heart, and you feel away from the point of no return. Then you may continue with the penetration again. Again, and again each time before point of no return (better too early than too late because then is game over and loss of energy happens), you make 5-7 of those circles and you continue like that. After already 2-4 times you may feel that you experience ecstasy higher than in typical sex and you may go on like this as high as you like. The time is passing what especially for your goddess may feel like "wow". Then after feeling so much bliss, overwhelmed by sensations or maybe just noticing that is already morning and maybe time to get up the kids, eat, etc.… together with your partner, you decide to finish your beautiful love making.
From one side tantra is guiding you to be fully absorbed here and now with your lover, with this beautiful energy of sharing love. You may ask yourself: how I may achieve that state when I have to be busy with some complicated technique?
Do you remember yourself or your kids learning bicycling? You had to be busy with your steering wheel, pedalling, keeping balance, looking up not on the feet… - so many complicated things at once. Only enthusiasm of the kid made you keeping trying and falling many times. Do you ever have to think about all those things while you're cycling? No. You may have interesting conversation or study audio book while you cycle and all those complicated things doesn't take anymore your attention at all.
I would like you, to remember this example and to keep the enthusiasm of that child wanting to cycle, also when you are at the tantric practice. To make it easier and less challenging, take your practice also out of your bedroom. Especially at the beginning any scratch or shout of your goddess may push you out of the edge, over the point of no return. Self-love practice would be safer and would help you to absorb the energy and technique. You may train PC muscle and breath separately. Then after you got more familiar, you may combine them together and then apply the visualization. With practice, I'm sure, you will make this technique as part of your nature and you could fully enjoy your goddess(god). By the way, for women we highly recommend for PC muscle, exercises with yoni egg (you may buy it from us by relatively good price) J .
Men are often asking me: When, then I may ejaculate? My answer is: as rare as possible. Why lose your precious energy? Why lose opportunity of higher realms of ecstasy just for how we call it in tantric circles,"sneezing" orgasm? Believe me, when you once taste tantric love making, you would never would be interested in peak orgasms. However, when it happens, do not feel guilty or shameful. There is too much of those in human sexuality and with tantra, we are healing from guilt and shame and we don't want to create more of it. But remember to keep your intention strong and clear.
Especially at the beginning is good to go for 49 days challenge. After such a period without peak orgasm, your physical addiction from ejaculation ends. The hormones, what are so strong like in heroin addicted person, are stopped to being produced and you`re free. Only your mental attachment could be still there but this, we remove by creating better, new experiences also on our workshops.49 days challenge, means that you do all best to keep without peak orgasm for 49 days while maintaining your sexual life active. Whenever it happens, without being annoyed with yourself, you just start counting days from beginning. Remember you are in the learning process and the patience with your mistakes and transferring them into opportunities to grow are a very important aspects of tantra. Perseverance against all odds and keeping your intention strong and clear could be another good virtue to learn through that process.
One more thing to mention is good to realize that for many reasons, 1 from 5 women, 20% of female population, never or very rarely, experienced clitoral orgasm. For those we exceptionally say go for it and enjoy it. We compare peak orgasm with another ones as crash (kindergarten) to university already (not even the basic school). For those 1 from each 5 women we say: go to kindergarten first, enjoy and explore but don`t stay there all life or too long, while you, like everyone without exception may reach tantric higher orgasms of university.
Use it don't lose it :)